BRAVO! STOP! INSIDE! GO TO BED! PLEASE!!!! so basically after i leave work on friday and aside from when i talk to ariel by skype these are the only words i say when i am home. my vocubulary is reduced to a couple of commands and all pertain to my dog.
I love him more than anything (aside from Ariel of course). Bravo makes me smile and keeps me always entertained. he has the best personality. he is funny and stubborn. i love spending my weekends with him even when i feel like throwing him out of a a twelth story apartment window. My relationship with my dog is very love/hate. sometimes i want to kill him but most of the time i just want to tickle his tummy and take funny pictures of him.
Lately i think my dog is going through an identity crisis. i am almost positive that he thinks he is a cat. all he does is sleep and his new favorite place to sit is the windowsil. not like the sofa by the window, no he likes to go in the office and sit on the windowsil by the pool and absorb sun rays. sometimes he sits and stares out the window and sometimes he just naps there. he is a medium sized dog so i have no idea how he can fall asleep without falling off. either way its really funny.
his birthday is coming up in october and i swore to myself i would never be one of those people who celebrates their dog's birthday with a party but i think i might want to take him to the dog park that week. maybe i could stud him out or something. i really want a little girl puppy. he is so beautiful that he would make good babies.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
A things!
So I have decided to close off each letter I will make a list of 5 things with that letter that I love or hate and why. And since I am done with A (Thank God! I was really looking forward to starting B)
1. Ariel- This is kind of obvious that I love him and he is my favorite A-thing ever! But, I wanted to list why; he is my best friend and literally completes me. We are so alike that it is sickening and not because we have been together for so long but because we have always had our similarities. I also love that he has adapted to me and become a better version of that boy I fell in love with so many years ago. He understands my ridiculous fears of lizards and big crowds. He knows that I have panic attacks and that I am dry sometimes. That i do not know how to offer sympathy and sometimes I am disconnected. That I bitch about stupid things and brush off huge things. That all the wierd things that make me who I am and he stilll loves me for that. I do not only love him for how he loves me but for the man that he is. I am truly proud of my husband not only because he is a soldier or a medic but because he is a good man all around.
2. Aladdin- My favorite disney movie EVER! I love everything about it especially the fact that Princess Jasmine has long dark hair, big dark eyes, and a big nose in comparison to the other princesses. As a child she made feel like non tall blonde blue eyed girls could be beautiful too.
3. the Army- This one is hard because it is a love/hate relationship. Sometimes (most of the time) I love the army it has brought us closer and given us so many opportunities that we other wise would have never had. But it is also the reason my husband is not with me right now. Regardless it is still a big deal in my life so I include it of course.
4. Ant hills- I absolutely hate ants not how I hate lizards and frogs but this annoyed hatred. Except for when they crawl beteween Bravos paws because he does this super cute kicking motion that is hilarious trying to get them out from in between his puppy toes.
5. Apples- My favorite A food. Not any apple just crisp delicious juicy ones (I hate it when they are mushy). I also like apples because they remind me of my favorite job I have ever had. When I worked at Bally's, there was regular who came in every morning and on his way out dropped an apple off at my desk it always made me smile that this man old enough to be my grandfather sweetly dropped off an apple for me everyday because one day I commented on how good teh one he was eating looked. It was also the snack that the trainers would come by my desk and munch on while we gossiped about who was hooking up with who or who was quitting or what new client they had picked up and the ridiculous stories they had. I loved apple time!
1. Ariel- This is kind of obvious that I love him and he is my favorite A-thing ever! But, I wanted to list why; he is my best friend and literally completes me. We are so alike that it is sickening and not because we have been together for so long but because we have always had our similarities. I also love that he has adapted to me and become a better version of that boy I fell in love with so many years ago. He understands my ridiculous fears of lizards and big crowds. He knows that I have panic attacks and that I am dry sometimes. That i do not know how to offer sympathy and sometimes I am disconnected. That I bitch about stupid things and brush off huge things. That all the wierd things that make me who I am and he stilll loves me for that. I do not only love him for how he loves me but for the man that he is. I am truly proud of my husband not only because he is a soldier or a medic but because he is a good man all around.
2. Aladdin- My favorite disney movie EVER! I love everything about it especially the fact that Princess Jasmine has long dark hair, big dark eyes, and a big nose in comparison to the other princesses. As a child she made feel like non tall blonde blue eyed girls could be beautiful too.
3. the Army- This one is hard because it is a love/hate relationship. Sometimes (most of the time) I love the army it has brought us closer and given us so many opportunities that we other wise would have never had. But it is also the reason my husband is not with me right now. Regardless it is still a big deal in my life so I include it of course.
4. Ant hills- I absolutely hate ants not how I hate lizards and frogs but this annoyed hatred. Except for when they crawl beteween Bravos paws because he does this super cute kicking motion that is hilarious trying to get them out from in between his puppy toes.
5. Apples- My favorite A food. Not any apple just crisp delicious juicy ones (I hate it when they are mushy). I also like apples because they remind me of my favorite job I have ever had. When I worked at Bally's, there was regular who came in every morning and on his way out dropped an apple off at my desk it always made me smile that this man old enough to be my grandfather sweetly dropped off an apple for me everyday because one day I commented on how good teh one he was eating looked. It was also the snack that the trainers would come by my desk and munch on while we gossiped about who was hooking up with who or who was quitting or what new client they had picked up and the ridiculous stories they had. I loved apple time!
Arrange
This long weekend was AWESOME. so much so that i did not really have time to sit in front of the computer and tell what has happened. I spoke to Ariel so much that I ran out of things to say and we just started making faces to eachother on skype. I am so happy to have my best friend even when he is a million miles away he is still my best friend he still cares about every stupid little thing going on in my life. He even asked me to try on the jeans i had just purchased. I know the connection was pretty crappy and he couldn't really clearly see what i look like but like any good husband he tells me "babe you've lost weight and look great".
While he slept I got to work on my final A project, I took the whole weekend to ARRANGE my house. I cleaned the bathrooms re-did my closet, emptied out drawers of clothes and put everything back together in the most prefect way I could think of. It was completely my happy place... I am the most OCD person I know and to spend days organizing my already almost perfect house was so refreshing. It made me change my outlook on everything and just want to strive for perfection in every aspect of my life.
My closet looks amazing and even after three days of working on it I still feel it could be better. I have it seperated by sleeve length and then color but I think I want to switch that up. I don't feel it is the most practical way for me. So maybe today I will redo do it. Aside from my OCD I also think I have an intense love for clothes, shoes and purses. I could sit for hours staring straight into my closet envisioning outfits or occasions where I could wear somethings to. It may not be normal or actually even a good quality but it helps me pass the time and if there is anything I have noticed about army life it is that you need to do things that help you pass the time as fast as possible.
While he slept I got to work on my final A project, I took the whole weekend to ARRANGE my house. I cleaned the bathrooms re-did my closet, emptied out drawers of clothes and put everything back together in the most prefect way I could think of. It was completely my happy place... I am the most OCD person I know and to spend days organizing my already almost perfect house was so refreshing. It made me change my outlook on everything and just want to strive for perfection in every aspect of my life.
My closet looks amazing and even after three days of working on it I still feel it could be better. I have it seperated by sleeve length and then color but I think I want to switch that up. I don't feel it is the most practical way for me. So maybe today I will redo do it. Aside from my OCD I also think I have an intense love for clothes, shoes and purses. I could sit for hours staring straight into my closet envisioning outfits or occasions where I could wear somethings to. It may not be normal or actually even a good quality but it helps me pass the time and if there is anything I have noticed about army life it is that you need to do things that help you pass the time as fast as possible.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Apathetic
Let me start by saying I have been annoyed for the past three days and I learned a lesson in putting things online when you are mad so decided against blogging when I am on the verge of throwing something across the room. Now that I am better I have decided to be APPRECIATIVE. I am so thankful that Ariel is safe and I get to somehow communicate with him everyday. I take this for granted and I guess I am expecting it but sometimes he won't be able to talk to me and I am happy that for now I basically hear from him at least some way every day. I am also appreciative that I am not stressed about money or work or my pups health. I am appreciative of my new friends and the fact they invited me to dinner, which I am really excited about.
I have discovered that I am not as APATHETIC as I thought. I was kind of worried there for a little bit. I had not cried, I had not gotten angry, I was kind of enjoying my time alone. Looking at the bright side, I kept telling myself. But last night I felt pain. This hurt deep down in my chest, turning my stomach inside out, breathing felt heavy and my head felt as if there were a hundred horse running in it. I looked at a picture of Ariel but forgot what his face looks like. It sounds silly but a picture is not a person. I couldn't remember expressions or his voice. I don't remember what it feels like to be touched (not sexually or anything), just holding hands or his hand grazing my thigh to try and get my attention. I found myself changing the channel because a couple on HGTV working on their first home made me nauseous. They really just reminded me too much of us and I couldn't stand it. I guess I also hadn't had anything bad happen to me since he left until yesterday and it bothered me not to have him here to talk to.
Today I felt as if I was losing momentum, but I guess its like skateboarding just put on foot down and push forward. Life happens and it sucks but (shrugs shoulders) I can't change anything right now except for my attitude so I think I am going back to positivity. I felt better when I woke up and told myself only 51 weeks left. It was easier when I didn't think about it. I had been treating this like NTC of SFAS I know hes coming home so lets just not think about it for now. I think I need a happy medium, so that i don't look like I dont care and so that I don't look like a whinny army wife. Maybe I am just tired. I haven't been sleeping well lately. But tomorrow welcome back APATHETIC robot, I have missed you!
I have discovered that I am not as APATHETIC as I thought. I was kind of worried there for a little bit. I had not cried, I had not gotten angry, I was kind of enjoying my time alone. Looking at the bright side, I kept telling myself. But last night I felt pain. This hurt deep down in my chest, turning my stomach inside out, breathing felt heavy and my head felt as if there were a hundred horse running in it. I looked at a picture of Ariel but forgot what his face looks like. It sounds silly but a picture is not a person. I couldn't remember expressions or his voice. I don't remember what it feels like to be touched (not sexually or anything), just holding hands or his hand grazing my thigh to try and get my attention. I found myself changing the channel because a couple on HGTV working on their first home made me nauseous. They really just reminded me too much of us and I couldn't stand it. I guess I also hadn't had anything bad happen to me since he left until yesterday and it bothered me not to have him here to talk to.
Today I felt as if I was losing momentum, but I guess its like skateboarding just put on foot down and push forward. Life happens and it sucks but (shrugs shoulders) I can't change anything right now except for my attitude so I think I am going back to positivity. I felt better when I woke up and told myself only 51 weeks left. It was easier when I didn't think about it. I had been treating this like NTC of SFAS I know hes coming home so lets just not think about it for now. I think I need a happy medium, so that i don't look like I dont care and so that I don't look like a whinny army wife. Maybe I am just tired. I haven't been sleeping well lately. But tomorrow welcome back APATHETIC robot, I have missed you!
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